Teen Titans #16, DC Comics, July-Aug 1968

Imagine a cross dimensional Die Hard set in a high school and you pretty much have Teen Titans #16, "The Dimensional Caper". But like Die Hard III, don't look at the plot too closely.

It all starts when the Titans characteristically visit a small town to set a teenager straight. Seems like Chet defaced the town's reservoir to prove he wasn't gay (or some other teenage motivation), but once up there, he saw a glowing rivet. Touching it, he was sent to another dimension, where everything is exactly the same except the people there are science fiction goons.
What circumstances might have led to that particular parallel earth, we'll probably never know. Some kind of fascist fashion police? Might explain the hairdryer rayguns and algea facials.

Of course, the Titans have to cross the threshold to prove their boy Chet right! And from then on, it's Die Hard. You know the basic formula: Put your heroes inside a space from where they must defeat the villains from within, then use the crap out of every nook and cranny of that space. With Die Hard, it was a building. With Die Hard 2, an airport. Speed? Die Hard in a bus. Sudden Death? Die Hard in a hockey arena. And so on.

And here, Haney makes use of the entire school. Kid Flash chokes some goons on chalk dust. Aqualad gets his water from the boiler room. Wonder Girl pushes some library shelves on top of the bad guys. And Robin plays some nasty dodgeball with them in the gym.
Now, I don't think Haney did it on purpose, because his handle on physics is never too tight elsewhere, but my theory is that the alternate universe has slightly different physical rules. How else to explain the kids fitting down a book drop?
Sorry, but no one this side of the Atom or Ralph Dibney should be able to fit in there.

And what about Aqualad's big pool scene? He jumps into the school's pool and the goons just stand around like idiots, saying: "Soon, he must show himself and face our weapons." Then, when they think he must surely have drowned, they are caught totally unawares as he pulls a "Jaws" on them.
So has the pool not been cleaned in a long while? Is water just more opaque in the alternate universe?

The rest of the story has our dimensions merging inside the school, the principal being exposed as an otherdimensional alien, and the school almost blowing up, then not doing so. Oh, and Chet's dad learns a valuable lesson about believing his son the next time he comes home with a story about aliens taking over the school.

So... Did anyone notice Earth-Fascist Fashion bite it in Crisis?

Comments

Gene K. said…
Why so serious? It's just a comic book...just enjoy.
Siskoid said…
If you thought I was at all serious, then my comedy-meter must have been way off that day.