The Masters of Witty Repartee - NOT!

Batman and the Outsiders #9 - Pages 3-6
So the Masters of Disaster have just attacked Morgan Jones' "Atheltic Club" for reasons unknown (unless their target, Black Lightning, is a "member"). Despite being faced with 5 superhumans, Jones some rocks.Because you don't need a loud suit to be a criminal in Gotham. Right. Pots calling kettles names there, dude who shops at the same store the Joker does. And while you may not have a "fancy name", I bet you can set up some bad puns from costumed criminals, can'tcha?
Sure you can. There you go.
Spider-Man powers... activate! Yeah, Coldsnap - who snaps his fingers to make cold, geddit?! - probably just got robbed of one of his cold-related puns. And someone's got to pay! What else have you got in your bag of appropriate expressions, Coldsnap?
Oh sure, that old common saying "like taking coals to Newscastle"... I mean, what?! I've never heard that before. [Search search search] WiseGeek says:

The phrase, "carrying coals to Newcastle," means spending an inordinate amount of energy on something useless, fruitless, or redundant. This idiom arose in the 15th century because Newcastle, England was known throughout the country as a major exporter of coal. Therefore, "carrying coals to Newcastle" would do you no good, because there was more coal there than anywhere else. Variations on the saying include "bringing," "taking," or "moving" the coal.

I'm sure the kids back in 1984 new all about England's imports and exports. Let's just say Coldsnap doesn't use the hippest of references. Shakedown's on shaky ground too:
Guy's unstable for sure if expects two random dudes to remember why he's called Shakedown when they're just now learning why he's called Shakedown. In the end, we have to leave the wit to the youngest of the group, Windfall:
That's the best joke of all, and yet it sounds so forced. (Pun aside, those are impossibly strong winds, so that guy must have his cap stapled to his head.) Maybe Heatstroke can do better...
She might, IF she can figure out whether that guy means to use his gun or some other tool... like his comb or something--no, not his comb--his LAPELS, that's it.
Oh snap! I mean--stroke! You're a supervillain with heat powers and you're blowing up guns? Crack assassin squad, this one. No bonus points for using your own name as your go-to pun, by the way. So we've got only one more member to go, and she's the leader - New-Wave!
New-Wave makes an outrageous claim here that punk is dead, long live new-wave. Outrageous, I say. But I don't expect much better from a leader whose "teamwork" actually hurts her own team:
Not to mention how smart it is to have two members of your team face mutually assured destruction if they ever touch! But maybe Joanne and Darryl came as a pair... they're lovers!
Hey, Coldsnap and Heatstroke, Rogue and Gambit called. They want their inane, emo relationship back. So ok, New-Wave, how about you tell us why you got the poor man's shoes so wet.
Hm, doesn't really explain why you would attack a potential ally who has no ties to your target, Black Lightning. Perhaps that hole in the wall can tell us more.
There you have it. The Masters of Disaster attack Morgan Jones and his mooks to offer them 1) to get their biggest enemy off their backs and 2) something that is worth their while. Nobody could make formal introductions, or what? I'm never meeting Mike Barr now. Not without some back-up.

If you've been following closely, you know from the previous posting that this room is supposed to be a rather cramped office. That's a LOT of disaster for such a small room. Tomorrow: Another kind of disaster entirely - a Geo-Force subplot!

8 comments:

Señor Editor said...

Actually, I think Cold Snap deserves some credit here. I can snap my fingers pretty damn well, but doing that in gloves must be quite tricky. If I was in his shoes I'd probably end up desperately trying to make a "snap" through my gloves while Batman beats the living crap out of me.

SallyP said...

Seriously...where does one even BUY a purple pin-striped suit?

Siskoid said...

My last suit dates from my first communion, so I'm the wrong person to ask, probably.

Swellsman said...

Little bit of trivia I happened to pick up only a week ago. I noticed that the Joker's dumber brother referred to three of his best "gunsels."

According to wikictionary (something like that), a "gunsel" is actually a catamite, a male kept for homosexual purposes. Apparently Dashell Hammett wanted to imply in one of his stories being serialized back in the 30s for "Black Mask" magazine that a hood's henchman was gay. But the editor of Black Mask had a policy against stuff like that, so Hammett used "gunsel" because he figured the editor would just assume it had something to do with "gun."

Of course, now that is what everybody thinks the word means (that is what I thought it meant until I learned otherwise) because I guess we're all as unlearned as Hammett's old editor.

With that explanatory intro, let me just say that I am surprised DC snuck this one past the Comics Code Authority. Who knew they would be so open to stories about gang leaders who kept catamites around for his pleasure?

Swellsman said...

@SallyP -- in downtown Miami. Seriously, I used to work at the courthouse there, and walking around during lunchtime I'd marvel at the suits displayed in the windows. I remember purple and lime green. I also remember thinking that now I knew where Batman villains shop.

Siskoid said...

Swells: All I can say is wow.

Peter LoCasto said...

@RE Heatstroke and Coldsnap: You think their relationship is emo NOW? They appear in "Aztek the Ultimate Man" calling themselves Heatsnap... because they paid for an experimental treatment that would've let them finally touch one another, and instead it fused them together. It, it is not pretty.

Siskoid said...

I forgot all about that! I guess it's a play on celebrity power couples.

 

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