Batman and the Outsiders #9 - Pages 3-6
So the Masters of Disaster have just attacked Morgan Jones' "Atheltic Club" for reasons unknown (unless their target, Black Lightning, is a "member"). Despite being faced with 5 superhumans, Jones some rocks.Because you don't need a loud suit to be a criminal in Gotham. Right. Pots calling kettles names there, dude who shops at the same store the Joker does. And while you may not have a "fancy name", I bet you can set up some bad puns from costumed criminals, can'tcha?
Sure you can. There you go.
Spider-Man powers... activate! Yeah, Coldsnap - who snaps his fingers to make cold, geddit?! - probably just got robbed of one of his cold-related puns. And someone's got to pay! What else have you got in your bag of appropriate expressions, Coldsnap?
Oh sure, that old common saying "like taking coals to Newscastle"... I mean, what?! I've never heard that before. [Search search search] WiseGeek says:
The phrase, "carrying coals to Newcastle," means spending an inordinate amount of energy on something useless, fruitless, or redundant. This idiom arose in the 15th century because Newcastle, England was known throughout the country as a major exporter of coal. Therefore, "carrying coals to Newcastle" would do you no good, because there was more coal there than anywhere else. Variations on the saying include "bringing," "taking," or "moving" the coal.
I'm sure the kids back in 1984 new all about England's imports and exports. Let's just say Coldsnap doesn't use the hippest of references. Shakedown's on shaky ground too:
Guy's unstable for sure if expects two random dudes to remember why he's called Shakedown when they're just now learning why he's called Shakedown. In the end, we have to leave the wit to the youngest of the group, Windfall:
That's the best joke of all, and yet it sounds so forced. (Pun aside, those are impossibly strong winds, so that guy must have his cap stapled to his head.) Maybe Heatstroke can do better...
She might, IF she can figure out whether that guy means to use his gun or some other tool... like his comb or something--no, not his comb--his LAPELS, that's it.
Oh snap! I mean--stroke! You're a supervillain with heat powers and you're blowing up guns? Crack assassin squad, this one. No bonus points for using your own name as your go-to pun, by the way. So we've got only one more member to go, and she's the leader - New-Wave!
New-Wave makes an outrageous claim here that punk is dead, long live new-wave. Outrageous, I say. But I don't expect much better from a leader whose "teamwork" actually hurts her own team:
Not to mention how smart it is to have two members of your team face mutually assured destruction if they ever touch! But maybe Joanne and Darryl came as a pair... they're lovers!
Hey, Coldsnap and Heatstroke, Rogue and Gambit called. They want their inane, emo relationship back. So ok, New-Wave, how about you tell us why you got the poor man's shoes so wet.
Hm, doesn't really explain why you would attack a potential ally who has no ties to your target, Black Lightning. Perhaps that hole in the wall can tell us more.
There you have it. The Masters of Disaster attack Morgan Jones and his mooks to offer them 1) to get their biggest enemy off their backs and 2) something that is worth their while. Nobody could make formal introductions, or what? I'm never meeting Mike Barr now. Not without some back-up.
If you've been following closely, you know from the previous posting that this room is supposed to be a rather cramped office. That's a LOT of disaster for such a small room. Tomorrow: Another kind of disaster entirely - a Geo-Force subplot!