Batman and the Outsiders #9 - Pages 11-15
Let's get down to brass tacks (or at least, brass-plated ones). OvMoD - who wins? At least the villains have the same insecurities as the heroes...True, Becky's not a name that inspires terror, but then, neither is New-Wave (unless you're on a very niche radio station and broke your frequency button). Still, it could be worse:
"Look Out" is a pretty awful supervillain name, though if you had it, you wouldn't have to worry about your role in the team being ill-defined. Sort of like "The Driver" and "The Weasel Who Betrays the Team". And then Psimon shows up!
Ah. No. That's just a hostage with a shower cap. The Ms of D react by... looking up and stammering. Maybe they ARE worthy of the Outsiders. Watch out, jerks, because Black Lightning was hiding in that pile of manure!
(Yes, that's a metaphor for the team.) And thank you Batman for giving Geo-Force some credit. Thanks a LOT. We're probably going to pay for that with JLA memberships and Final Crisis specials. But let's use that rising anger and FIGHT!
Katana's brought her extra-long sword (it's taller than she is!), but don't worry, she's not allowed to stab anyone with it. And if you want to take back GF's credit, you can always ask why the team's flying powerhouse is taking up the rather safe rear. Now, please take your score cards out...
First match: Metamorpho vs. New-Wave - Polymorph selves!
She's not trying to rust you, Rex, because you're not made of metal. Way to understand your own powers, dude. Turn into acid yourself already! And can New-Wave turn into ANY liquid? Or is that just actual acid rain? Don't be a baby, Rex, I've been sticking my tongue out for acid rain all my life. I lived near a paper mill. A PAPER MILL!!!
Second match: Halo vs. Windfall - Glee club!
It's a draw! Halo reasons that if you have the same age as your opponent, that's enough in common to become friends. She obviously hasn't seen Mean Girls. So they just fly around all night when clearly, the girl who can shoot 8 kinds of energy beams should be able to knock out the girl who buffets her with wind.
Third match: Black Lightning vs. Coldsnap - To the beat of the music!
"Blackie"? Really? I know it's a play on his superhero codename, but still. Coldsnap definitely deserves a decathlon kick to the head.
Fourth match: Batman vs. Heatstroke - Batman don't need no theme partner!
This has happened to me. Snow sliding down a rooftop has fallen on me that way. It did not knock me out. It did not put me out of action. And my body temperature was normal too, none of that "so hot I will melt my boyfriend" kind of crazy body heat. So while I will never deny Batman a win no matter what the opponent's abilities, let's at least make it a contest!
Fifth and final match: Geo-Force vs. Shakedown - Earth Day!
And GF gets bailed out of trouble by Katana. He's more or less evenly matched with Shakedown, and has extra powers to spare (lava blasts, flight) and he still needs the petite woman in the group to karate chop his dancing partner into submission. Or is he bracing himself against a building for another reason?
But Shakedown... you haven't TOLD US what you want! I guess Batman will have to be that guy.
Wait, didn't Geo-Force anti-grav those hostages away? Not very far it seems, because they still count as hostages! Way to go, college boy. Now your pal BL is gonna have to sacrifice himself. What have you got to say for yourself?
That's a pretty extreme response, so I have a theory to explain it (that is so ME, isn't it?). Obviously, Geo-Force thinks the Masters of Disaster are recruiting. Among the disasters they represent, they don't have a thunderstorm, so of course, Black Lightning is their target. But what about GF? Sure, they have an earthquake guy already, but he could be volcano eruptions or something, right? What some people will do to get out of being roomies with Metamorpho...
So "Blackie" leaves with the Mastas, and the Outsiders just stand there looking at them leave. You know, they didn't bring the hostages with them, you should just pursue. But who am I to tell Mike Barr what to tell the Outsiders to do?
And though we're only on page 15, I'm afraid the conclusion to this story will have to wait a few months when I get up the courage to do issue #10, because now we have to break for that Halo solo story. (Priorities?) So you'll just have to be patient before you can find out how Batman, armed only with the cut-out masks of his friends, will free Black Lightning from Disaster.
Tomorrow: Halo goes to band camp.